This week, we ran a creative contest to seat two players in Matt Vasgersian’s 3rd annual charity poker tournament, taking place tonight at the Hall of Champions. We asked our users to come up with, in 300 words or less, a clever, poker-analogy filled look at the Chargers. Who are the “aces” on the team, and who are the “rags” that need to be tossed in the muck?
Those were the directions, we got lots of terrific entries, but two clearly stood out as winners. As such, Simone and Mike will be seated with me tonight, hoping to catch some of those aces and not so many of the rags!
After the jump, read our two winning submissions:
Mike (Avenger-In-Chief): A former guest on a 619 Sports podcast, Mike (from AvengingJackMurphy.com) made it clear from the start of the contest that he was going to work hard to claim a seat. The hard work paid off, Mike! His entry:
The film Rounders, offered the following maxim: “In the poker game of life, women are the rake.” Edward Norton’s character Worm, subtly insinuated that women are equal to the painful monetary cut extracted by the house from its players. During another painful start to the season San Diegans might contend that it is the Chargers who are in fact the rake!
As bad-beats fade though, Chargers prospects shall rise. Hey, Bolt backers! We were just dealt bullets.
POCKET ACES
Rivers: The $92 million dollar “Investment” showed his worth on Sunday. He’s a Charger warhorse and every week he exacts leadership in spades.
Jackson: Drops and mental lapses are a thing of yore. Now, Vincent asserts his will on the opposition. He averages 17 yards/catch and 1 score/game.
FLOP
Cromartie: Insert harangue here_________. Cromartie has provided poor tackling, weak hits, and infrequent interceptions (1). Need we say more?
O-Line: Our linemen are what they are, to steal a phrase. The “Investment” must be protected and these aren’t the fellas to do it. Clary and Mruczkowski? Please!
D-Line: No viable backup for an aging Jamal Williams? Come on AJ! These cards are an indictment of AJ Smith, more than the players themselves.
The buck stops with our GM and this raggedy flop is his.
TURN
Weddle: In ’08 he was the guy getting beat by a step in every game but now on the rebound, he’s playing faster, tackling, and bringin’ the wood (ask Kevin Boss).
RIVER
Merriman: Fans’ expectations have exceeded the abilities of a reconstructed knee, but now fourteen months post-op, Lights Out has arrived. The progress culminated on Sunday’s last play dealing fans a third Ace on 5th Street.
Will trip Aces hold up? I’m going short-stacked to Denver on the 22nd, and can’t wait to find out.
Simone Eisenberg: Simone snuck in her entry right before the Wednesday, 1pm deadline…and good thing she did! Her entry clearly conveyed someone who knew both the Chargers and the game of poker:
The stunning edge-of-your-seat finale to last Sunday’s game saw the
Giants dumbfounded like Phil Hellmuth getting stacked on the river by
a three-outer. The Giants were caught in a rookie bluff when Vincent
Jackson was dealt an 18-yard pass to score the game winning touchdown
with 21 seconds left to play.
Bringing in their third straight win,
Jackson proved himself to be pocket aces up the Chargers’ sleeve. His
impressive 42 receptions and seven touchdowns so far this season
indicated Jackson is cashing in on how much he’s grown up and stacking
his chips toward the Pro Bowl.
But, replace one of Jackson’s aces with
a cowboy, and Ladainian Tomlinson validates that top connectors are
often overvalued — and overplayed. The Charger’s offensive line once
revolved around Tomlinson, along with Antonio Gates, but Jackson is
dominating this year. With only three touchdowns so far this season,
LT has had less than half of the scoring impact of Jackson, and it
seems like he all he’s good for these days is getting thrown into the
muck and making way for better hands. Literally. LT can’t seem to stay
off the ground unless there’s a gap big enough to fit Mike Matusow’s
ego and loud mouth.
Even though he’s a future Hall of Famer and a role
model sterling citizen, LT’s play has significantly dropped off the
table — much like Chris Moneymaker’s disappointing decline — and he
won’t be back next year.
Congrats to Mike and Simone, and thanks for having some fun with our contest! Also, congratulations to Jeff, Brent, and Stuart, who all won seats from 619 Sports Thursday night ON the felt in a satellite tournament. I’ll see you all at the Hall tonight!
